But it took some time for his beard to grow
I’d really like to get me start
Because piracy is a manly art
A gun and a hat should seal the deal
Yet people keep asking if me beard is real…
All the landlubbers on all the shores
Are a bunch of beardless cowardly bores
I yearn for adventure on the blue horizon
So the life of a pirate I’ve been surmising
To pillage and plunder, wreak havoc and steal,
But people keep asking if me beard is real…
Me bathtub boats I’ve bombed and they sank
I’ve made me big brother walk the plank
I’ve plundered the booty and battened the hatches
Me sword is all plastic, but covered in scratches
When I threaten a flogging, the sailors all kneel
But they always then ask if me beard is real.
I’ve never once shaved it, I answer them back
Just like that swashbuckling Captain Jack
It dangles like Yellowbeard’s—straight from me chin
Like Redbeard’s, it wiggles when blown by the wind
I’m a pirate, I tell you, so what’s the big deal?
Why does anyone care if this beard’s fake or real?
For a sea dog I am, and shark-bait you’ll be
If you question this growth on me chin while at sea
The next bloke who asks me if this beard is real
Will be finding himself being hauled by the keel
Beware all me maties who don’t want to be dead…
What? What’s that, Mommy? Oh I see…
Shiver me timbers, it’s past time for bed!
by scott sullivan, ©2010
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